Everybody Has Demons

Everybody has demons, some are old and haunt us from our past. Others are recent, like a poorly healed wound. Some demons aren’t even our own, we carry them for loved ones and people we hold dear to us.

Before you read any further, realize that EVERYONE has demons.

Doing it for the ‘’Gram’’

Most people would like to think that the people they follow on Instagram live the perfect lives and that they mustn’t have a single bad day all year. He posts a picture of 40 pairs of Jordans, 4 Maseratti’s and his box of designer watches, with his attractive girlfriend living in their mansion in L.A. Great, but you’re capturing moments of a mans life. You don’t know the family issues he might or might not have, how many true close friends he really has or if him and his partner are even in a healthy relationship (which also isn’t defined by #RelationshipGoals posts)

Can you remember a Christmas Day as a child, where the rush of presents that you got lasted from about 7am till 2 in the day, you were still the same kid, but just with more stuff. Same rule applies. Having a six pack of abs, a nice car and really big wardrobe full of nice runners doesn’t change who you are or affect your mood.

What’s wrong with the fitness industry today is that people put the likes of a Dana Linn Bailey on a pedestal, as if she isn’t just some other woman, who went to college, met her husband and pushed a 9-5 before her life became what it is. Even though she has found success, she still feels the same emotions anybody else does, because she’s human and she has demons. 

Remember, we all have demons, we’re all only human, we’re not the followers we have on Instagram, or the compliments in the gym.

Surviving

Training was my survival. Pretty bold statement isn’t it?? If you were to ask me how, I couldn’t actually tell you, but it was.

Growing up I didn’t have everything as normal as everyone else. I was one of the only people I had heard of at the time who had separated parents, half brothers and half sisters and partners to my parents who weren’t even like uncles and aunts but were around more than them.

My dad was a strict enough dude and was regimented. He had me working at the age of 14 and when he wanted things done, you did them, PERIOD. From a young age, this gave me a constant want to please my loved ones and to this very day, I try to do my everything for those that do and even those that don’t deserve it. In my Junior Cert year (age 14) all of my friends stopped talking to me because of something petty that wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t handle that, and I still tried my best to fix and mend everything I didn’t break.

How is all of this relevant to you? Because they were the main driving forces that led me to anger and hatred. 

I’ll skip the Rocky montage of me squatting my first 100 and drinking my first protein shake. I began to invest time into myself and was able to reap benefits that few could ever understand, through discipline and hard work.

Anger, hatred, redemption and revenge were what got diluted by sweat and pain from the gym.

So from the ages of 14 to 22, I would have gotten to know a lot more like minded people. I got more attention from girls and gained independence through working consistently from a young age and building somewhat of a reputation through fitness and bodybuilding.

One thing I didn’t realize was happening, however, was that with each female’s attention, each like on Instagram, each kg gained, every compliment awkwardly received, I was plastering my wounds and walking past my demons unknowingly still carrying the burdens of my past.

Ignorance is bliss, right? Out of sight of mind?

Afraid not…

Breaking Point

After quickly becoming one of the bigger Junior class bodybuilders and building my name up alongside brands and companies, I eventually found myself a year out of competition with a disastrous skin infection. This resulted in my physique regressing immensely while undergoing treatment of harsh dermoligcal drugs. Soon after, however, I found myself in a dream job, 300km away from home…. 

Once I thought I made it through the simpler adversities, I just as quickly found myself back home with no job, no car. I was prepping for my comeback show, in the best shape of my life, and falling in love with my current girlfriend. But I was still carrying the burdens of my past.

I soon realized, you can cover up the origin of your demons with distractions, relationships, money, work, training, social media and sponsorships. But if the day should so misfortunately come that you get left with a lot less than the aforementioned, your demons will be ready to chat.

Picking up the pieces

If you can relate to anything I’ve just wrote, read this next line very carefully and out loud if you’re on your own or just don’t care;

You are not the first person, the only person or the last person, who feels that way. And that’s ok.

If your car breaks down you bring it to the mechanic, if you have a cavity in your tooth, you go to the dentist, if your stomach is in agony and you can’t put your finger on what’s doing it, you go to the doctor.

If you have serious struggles inside your own head, there’s nothing wrong in sharing them with somebody. 

10,000 people pushing a button at the top of your Instagram aren’t going to fix it, a truck load of material items isn’t going to fix it, getting recognized on the street for being that guy or girl in the gym with the sick shoulder/ass/quads/arms isn’t going to fix it either.

The only person that can fix it is you and the only way you can fix it is by opening up and addressing your demons head on. 

About the Author - Kavan Byrne

I specialise in nutritional programming. I have worked with athletes of all sizes, shapes and sports. Bodybuilding prep, summer holiday ready or just body recomposition are all fields that I work in. 

I'll soon launch a website to bring the team/family feel to all my clients because I feel a community working towards the same goal makes every individual stronger.Until the website is live you can email me for inquiries at kavangbyrne@gmail.com

You can also follow me on my social feeds to just get to know me and what I'm about and stay up to date with any future work or articles I may do like the one you're about to read or have already read :)

(My favourite) Snapchat - kav_b

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